I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
