I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We have started to decorate penises.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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