why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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