2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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