he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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