...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am available for nakedness
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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