im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
