If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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