One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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