i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
