who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
