I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
