This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
