Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
