You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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