I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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