D3 body, D1 cock
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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