After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
where are my eyebrows?
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