dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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