i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize