Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I want her autograph on my taint
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Randomize
