so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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