My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
