The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
