dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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