You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
