Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
