you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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