im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
