Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize