You just made me feel so damn special
My friends, they love my intelligence
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
