If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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