Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
