Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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