i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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