I think my vagina is haunted
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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