Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
