Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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