O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
