Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Houston, we have a blender
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize