You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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