Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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