Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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