Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she smelled like a LAN party
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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