never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
