I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
