i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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