so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
