Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
