Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
