I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
