I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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