ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
