he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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