on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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