i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
