Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It was confusing and full of hummus
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize