he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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