I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize