my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
