What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
