It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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