I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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