so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No subtext here. People are naked.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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