I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
