It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
