brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
