2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
