You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wish I could teleport
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
