Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
