He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
