office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
