Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
